My First Sermon

    

 A couple of weeks ago, I presided my cousin Lisa's wedding to a good guy named Patrick. I was severely hungover and I forgot about the rings. Here's the sermon:

Post Awakening

     When I was kid, my dad would take us to the movie theater on base. At $2 a pop he would complain about the prices and then buy us popcorn whether we wanted it or not. Once in our seats and settled we'd have to stand back up again for the national anthem. Soldiers would doff their covers and salute. The rest of us would wipe the popcorn off of our laps, put our hands over hearts, and watch a slideshow of American weaponry until the music stopped. The previews would play (we called them previews back then. Not trailers.) and it seemed like every movie that was coming soon was worse than the last because there were no new Star Wars movies on the horizon. Those previews combined with whatever we were watching in those theaters made me realize the future was bleak. I was doomed to watch the same three movies over and over. Forever. When the feature presentation started, I secretly hoped it was a trick and Star Wars would start instead of whatever was supposed to be playing. Even if it was a cartoon, I looked for anything on screen that might be related to Star Wars. I was on the edge of my seat hoping that someone whipped out a lightsaber and took care of business. 

Pre-Awakening

     Every nerd worth his or her salt has had their own ideas and opinions about Star Wars and where it's going. Every nerd blogger worth his or her digital ink has written out theories, anecdotes and critiques about where the saga has been. Including me. But I don't count. Because I don't care.